Dark visions I have seen
Unlike dreams, profoundly keen
A shadow becomes of thee
Faint of eye, I feel you stare at me
I sense we’ve met before
Away with logic I opened up the door
Have you come to visit or to stay?
I hope to God you stay away
As soon it came
The image tamed,
Like a dream
I do deem.
You saved me from evil
but you are evil
eviler than he and she?
not in my eyes
but in theirs, yes
was it wrong for me to summon you?
to call out to whoever was listening
for something to come and save me
good or bad
bright or obscure as they may be
partly out of despair
And partly out of hope
who would blame me?
and who would damn me?
they do not understand a life of constant suffering
not just out but in
inside more than anything
but you were in the past
and out of curiosity I called out to you again
because I had forgotten those memories long ago
will you help me once more?
or will you cause me unimaginable suffering?
My mind says the latter
But my heart says not
And my intuition
although strong as it may be
fails me the moment I need it most
whatever I choose
I will always have you on my mind,
when I feel most alone
in the dead of the night.
I guess I’m a mother fucking mind reader. They walk up to the window and expect me to know their name. Yeah, okay Queen and King of the FUCKING castle I know who you are even though I’ve NEVER seen you before or but once like FIVE months ago! and yeah I know how to spell your name and Oo! I know your birthday too!
YES you are the only Jack Davis in the fucking universe but that universe my dear is YOUR universe, the one you make up in your tiny little head of yours that thinks the world revolves around you and everybody should treat you with respect even though you treat them like shit once shit really goes down.
Don’t get pissed off with me because I ask for your ID or you tell me your name and you spell it like a fucking asshole! Oh wait that’s your parent fault, but wait you expect me to know how to spell your oh so special name that has a silent “FUCK YOU” in the middle.
Ah, but thank you for thinking I look cool enough to have special abilities.
T is for the Truth that I will forever seek.
W is for When I was younger I promised myself that it’d get better.
E is for Every day I never gave up hope.
N is for Nearly dying when I couldn’t take anymore.
T is for Trying everything in the God damn book.
Y is for every Year I wasted trying to find a cure.
F is for Finally Finding something that could help.
I is for Interrupting that by stopping all my pills.
V is for Visiting what I use to cherish dear.
E is for Every soul who understand how it feels to be mentally ill.
And there he was
Like dark black coals
Inside a familiar face, but not
I stared half in fear and half in excitement
Then he kiss me
A first greeting in the night
I fell in love when I saw those eyes
And they followed me into my next life
It was my idea
To do the things we did
But of course he delighted in them
But I fear I delighted in them much more than him
Although I was human, not he
One day a comrade, like a brother to him came
He never spoke
But I knew what he said, mind to mind
And one day while sitting in the woods together
I looked over and I saw him
And I mean I SAW him
And who he was
And he saw me
And who I was
And we kissed
And fell in love
I loved both
But I chose one
And in the end
The unchosen chose
To take me with him
What has helped me wasn’t a belief in something greater
It was belief in myself, something I discovered later.
Who came to me wasn’t just the light, but the darkness also called out.
For a life of suffering, for years, without a doubt
changes a person inside and out.
An angel said not to fear
and the demon said, “I’ll help you dear,”
So I took the lights advice
and greeted the demon thrice.
Once with a bow,
Once with a kiss,
And once on the demons lips.