Twenty Five

T is for the Truth that I will forever seek.

W is for When I was younger I promised myself that it’d get better.

E is for Every day I never gave up hope.

N is for Nearly dying when I couldn’t take anymore.

T is for Trying everything in the God damn book.

Y is for every Year I wasted trying to find a cure.

F is for Finally Finding something that could help.

I is for Interrupting that by stopping all my pills.

V is for Visiting what I use to cherish dear.

E is for Every soul who understand how it feels to be mentally ill.

—–

◢ Annadris

And in Death

And there he was

His eyes 

Like dark black coals

Inside a familiar face, but not

I stared half in fear and half in excitement 

Then he kiss me

A first greeting in the night

I fell in love when I saw those eyes

And they followed me into my next life

It was my idea

To do the things we did

However awful

But of course he delighted in them

But I fear I delighted in them much more than him

Although I was human, not he

One day a comrade, like a brother to him came

He never spoke

But I knew what he said, mind to mind

And one day while sitting in the woods together

I looked over and I saw him

And I mean I SAW him

And who he was

And he saw me

And who I was

And we kissed

And fell in love
I loved both

But I chose one

And in the end 

The unchosen chose

To take me with him

Into death.

—–

◢ Annadris

Familiar

What has helped me wasn’t a belief in something greater

It was belief in myself, something I discovered later.

Who came to me wasn’t just the light, but the darkness also called out.

For a life of suffering, for years, without a doubt

changes a person inside and out.

An angel said not to fear

and the demon said, “I’ll help you dear,”

So I took the lights advice

and greeted the demon thrice.

Once with a bow,

Once with a kiss, 

And once on the demons lips.

—–

◢ Annadris